Not So Romantic, Quirky Love Quotes

I think there should be a Single's Day holiday -- since there's V-day for couples. As Mr. Oscar Wilde says: "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."

Anyway, I received a forwarded e-mail from a friend long ago. These are some of the entries to a Washington Post Competition. The contest asked for a rhyme with the most romantic first line, but least romantic second line.

Caustic witticism. Enjoy!


Stock Vector: I Heart Evil

~

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, cause I was pissed

Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are you
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

Every time I see your face
I wish I were in outer space

I saw your face as you walked by
but then I saw a better guy

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you, no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Geek Gifts

Here are hi-tech gifts that are functional and look great too. The products are from Fractalspin -- geekcessories galore!

1. Microcontroller Cufflinks & Tie Tack



The set of black cufflinks (and a tie tack in black and silver, shown above) are made from real microcontrollers. The tie tack costs $35.00 (~ € 25.41).

Microcontrollers are tiny, self-sufficient microprocessors that take up little space. The Basic Stamp controller is the most well known. It contains the memory and interfaces needed for simple applications.

2. Duct Tape Hybrid BiFold Wallet



A clean, minimalistic wallet that's super strong, being made of Duct Tape. The Ducti wallet uses Super Duct Tape so it won't peel or leak adhesive -- which can be a problem with traditional duct tape. There's room for credit/debit cards, cash, and there's a picture window for the owner's ID.

3. Odin’s Rage Watch



This LED watch (LED=light-emitting diode) substitutes a large inner dot for the hour hand position, and a small outer dot for the minute hand position. Uber funky.

The four small LEDs at the center represent the minutes between each five-minute increment, and the two small dots in the bottom center represent AM or PM. There are instructions on how to read the watch too.

Reference: Six Valentine’s Day nerdy guy gifts that aren’t lame

Heart Necklaces

Whimsical Heart Necklace

This is a simple and elegantly designed heart-shaped necklace from MuseumShop.com.

The contemporary design was created exclusively for Museum Shop by Kathleen Scott, a Rhode Island jewelry designer. The necklace comes in gold-tone or silver-tone, each measuring 1" in diameter (2.54 cm). The pendant comes with a matching 17" (43.2 cm) chain. The item is made in the USA.



"Piece of My Heart" Necklace

This is the (rather literal) Piece of My Heart Necklace. It comes in a set of two silver-plated pendants -- a circle etched with the word "Love," and a heart with the word "Always." Each comes with its own chain, so you can keep one for yourself and give the other to your sweetheart. Alternatively, you could also wear both pendants together on one chain. This originally cost $16.95, but is now going for $12.95.



Shona Standing Couple

Museum Shop also has sculptures such as the Shona Standing Couple. This is handmade in Zimbabwe and fair-trade imported. The Shona tribes of Zimbabwe, literally translated as "the house of stone," are renowned for their fine sculpting technique.

International shipping is available for these items. MuseumShop.com donates a portion of every purchase, at no extra cost to customers, to support First Book. The latter is an organization that provides arts education and supplies to children who do not have ready access to such services.

Love-ly Cookies

Jungle Love Colossal Cookie

Wow, that's really a huge, tempting, sweet-looking cookie. The cookie weighs more than one pound (450 grams), and is hand decorated. Nice way to bring out one's wild side ;)

The giant cookie costs $34.95, and costs $48.95 if you include 12 additional mixed cookies.



Love Notes

Yes, these love note cookie cards are edible. They cost $14.95. Each fresh baked sugar cookie is covered in white chocolate, with a card design and border of candy hearts and sprinkles.

What's nice about this one is that there is an Edible Food Writer included to personalize your own special cookie card message. The gift box is tied with coordinating sheer chiffon ribbon. An optional, personalized (non-edible) gift card is included with the purchase.

Order early -- shipping prices start at $9.99, for 0-3 lbs gift items. You can check the shipping rates on each individual gift page before checkout as well.

Coincidentally, Presentville Gifts was established on Valentine’s Day 2005. Shipping is currently available in the USA only.

I'll look out for stores which have international shipping in the next few posts.

Glass Bear in a Box

1. Tiny Glass Angel Bear

Here's the first feature for Valentine's Day 2008.

These products were added to the catalogue of The Gift Haven in October 2007 -- so they're pretty new additions!

The glass bear above sits inside a ruby-red velvet box. The "My Sweet Heart" poem is viewable by clicking on the image above (a larger image will appear). The item stands at 2.25 inches (5.7cm) high, and is just $7.95.



2. A Rose from the Heart

In this rose & heart glass gift, two eternal symbols of love are brought together. It stands at 4.75 inches (12cm) high, and costs $24.95.

Many other items at The Gift Haven can be gotten below $20. They have a Valentine's Day category too. Shopping at the store and finding the right items are a breeze.

All gift prices are 20% or more below the suggested retail price. Shipping costs are not inflated, which means the cost is not reflected back onto customers.

Holiday: Valentine's Day, 2008