Not So Romantic, Quirky Love Quotes

I think there should be a Single's Day holiday -- since there's V-day for couples. As Mr. Oscar Wilde says: "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."

Anyway, I received a forwarded e-mail from a friend long ago. These are some of the entries to a Washington Post Competition. The contest asked for a rhyme with the most romantic first line, but least romantic second line.

Caustic witticism. Enjoy!


Stock Vector: I Heart Evil

~

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, cause I was pissed

Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are you
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

Every time I see your face
I wish I were in outer space

I saw your face as you walked by
but then I saw a better guy

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you, no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Heart Necklaces

Whimsical Heart Necklace

This is a simple and elegantly designed heart-shaped necklace from MuseumShop.com.

The contemporary design was created exclusively for Museum Shop by Kathleen Scott, a Rhode Island jewelry designer. The necklace comes in gold-tone or silver-tone, each measuring 1" in diameter (2.54 cm). The pendant comes with a matching 17" (43.2 cm) chain. The item is made in the USA.



"Piece of My Heart" Necklace

This is the (rather literal) Piece of My Heart Necklace. It comes in a set of two silver-plated pendants -- a circle etched with the word "Love," and a heart with the word "Always." Each comes with its own chain, so you can keep one for yourself and give the other to your sweetheart. Alternatively, you could also wear both pendants together on one chain. This originally cost $16.95, but is now going for $12.95.



Shona Standing Couple

Museum Shop also has sculptures such as the Shona Standing Couple. This is handmade in Zimbabwe and fair-trade imported. The Shona tribes of Zimbabwe, literally translated as "the house of stone," are renowned for their fine sculpting technique.

International shipping is available for these items. MuseumShop.com donates a portion of every purchase, at no extra cost to customers, to support First Book. The latter is an organization that provides arts education and supplies to children who do not have ready access to such services.

Love-ly Cookies

Jungle Love Colossal Cookie

Wow, that's really a huge, tempting, sweet-looking cookie. The cookie weighs more than one pound (450 grams), and is hand decorated. Nice way to bring out one's wild side ;)

The giant cookie costs $34.95, and costs $48.95 if you include 12 additional mixed cookies.



Love Notes

Yes, these love note cookie cards are edible. They cost $14.95. Each fresh baked sugar cookie is covered in white chocolate, with a card design and border of candy hearts and sprinkles.

What's nice about this one is that there is an Edible Food Writer included to personalize your own special cookie card message. The gift box is tied with coordinating sheer chiffon ribbon. An optional, personalized (non-edible) gift card is included with the purchase.

Order early -- shipping prices start at $9.99, for 0-3 lbs gift items. You can check the shipping rates on each individual gift page before checkout as well.

Coincidentally, Presentville Gifts was established on Valentine’s Day 2005. Shipping is currently available in the USA only.

I'll look out for stores which have international shipping in the next few posts.

Glass Bear in a Box

1. Tiny Glass Angel Bear

Here's the first feature for Valentine's Day 2008.

These products were added to the catalogue of The Gift Haven in October 2007 -- so they're pretty new additions!

The glass bear above sits inside a ruby-red velvet box. The "My Sweet Heart" poem is viewable by clicking on the image above (a larger image will appear). The item stands at 2.25 inches (5.7cm) high, and is just $7.95.



2. A Rose from the Heart

In this rose & heart glass gift, two eternal symbols of love are brought together. It stands at 4.75 inches (12cm) high, and costs $24.95.

Many other items at The Gift Haven can be gotten below $20. They have a Valentine's Day category too. Shopping at the store and finding the right items are a breeze.

All gift prices are 20% or more below the suggested retail price. Shipping costs are not inflated, which means the cost is not reflected back onto customers.

Holiday: Valentine's Day, 2008

Romantic, Tropical Decor Gifts

The World's Finest

Conch King has an extensive selection of romantic, tropical decor gifts that are fit for queens and kings. Their featured wedding items are fast becoming a tradition at beach weddings!

Some of the tropical South Seas Island wedding horns were used at the wedding of Nicholas Cage to Lisa Presley (and at the island weddings of many other celebrities as well). The oil lamps are refillable for life too.

Each shell is lovingly cleaned and polished, and so far this isn't done anywhere else in the business. It is also trimmed so that it will stand up as an open vase or display and not just roll over.

Seashells do not come from the sea in nice condition. Many things grow on them. They have chipped edges and scratches that need to be trimmed down and polished.

Like any trade, practice makes perfect and the staff at Conch King are well beyond practice. They have developed some very unique methods of cleaning and polishing and carefully go over every item that is sold.

Conch shells are a beautiful gift that evokes high seas, adventure, mystery, allure, and amor.

It's noted on Conch King that conch are not an endangered species. They are also fished legally.

Romance in a Bottle

For the romantic at heart - send your special one a message in a bottle. Made to look like it came from the sea, with your own special message printed on parchment paper.


http://www.onepassionplace.com/messageinabottle.htm.

A handrolled scroll, placed in a bottle, which includes sand and colorful sea shells to best emulate a feeling of a "bottle washed ashore" (they've really thought of everything). Now isn't that romantic, or what?

The folks at One Passion Place are careful with shipping, as they are well aware of the fragility of this lovely item. These bottles, reminiscent of the seaside, aren't the only two types of bottles that are found on the website.

If I had to select one more, the Top Secret Edition was one that caught my attention too. It's a bottle gift, but a very interesting one as it's solely for the mission of getting a secret note to a special "client". This set boasts an actual lock stopper whereby the gift recipient must use the combination (which is provided to them) to open the bottle, allowing access to the hand rolled scroll that is placed in the 12" glass bottle.

Other items that One Passion Place is selling, include customizable (custom embroidered monogram) spa robes, handcrafted pewter, gift rings and boxes, jewelry and romantic games. Ooh la la love!